Prefatory Note: It is an edited form of letter to one of my friend. He has become my friend through my blog at civilservices-prelims.blogspot.com. He wrote me a letter to which I gave a reply and that is reproduced below at the end of this note.
As the motive of this blog is personal aggrandizement and ego satisfaction, I am reproducing that letter below just because somewhere it brings out those features of personality traits which can be called the real grit and mettel in me. I considered this letter a personal thing and had thought of writing another post for civilservices-prelims.blogspot.com/ based on the contents of this letter. I did not want to post it at all as I wanted to keep it between me and my friend. However, yesterday, I visited one of my acquaintances, who had cleared civil services 2004. While we were rejoicing in his success, his friend also arrived who had also taken examination along with him. He had also faced the interview. His name has not appeared in the final list. He was very dejected.
I really felt pain for that person, who is a medical practitioner, when I learnt that it was his fourth and the last chance. He had appeared for the interview for the third time. It was in itself an achievement.
The father of the successful candidate tried to console the doctor. But the doctor became suddenly very melancholic and sad. He was cursing his stars. He recollected, that how at the time of his selection to MBBS also, he suffered like that. He remembered that during last two chances also he had missed by couple of marks. He said that he might have suffered due to some lesser score in one of the elective paper and he was also not very enthusiastic about the interview as he said that it had not gone well.
When he was repenting like that, suddenly I felt that these were the very feelings which I had suffered when I failed. The very reasons, the cursing of his stars, the previous failures have reflected on his performance. It was similar feelings when I suffered just two months before the Mains which had destroyed my chances.
There are many reasons when you do not achieve success. But, there are many factors which are in your hand and you fail to manage them well and you fail. His melancholic mood, his sadness, his negative talks were such which prompted me that I should place these feelings on blogs. It is meant for civilservices-prelims.blogspot.com/ but it is something mere personal talk. Therefore, I am putting here and will give link on civilservices-prelims.blogspot.com/. It is another aspect which matters in ensuring your success. Apart from doing hard work by preparing different topics of the elective subject and showing persistency in your preparations, the civil services aspirants should also be very particular in disciplining their emotional life. It is also part of organising and planning for the success. There letter which I am reproducing below, was written when the person to whom it was addressed just showed nerves around April 17, 2005, nearly a month before the day of examination. Now when General Studies paper was bit tough this years, such type of mental phases could have become a big hindrance in achieving success.
Hence, apart from preparing for the syllabus, One should also discipline his mood and mental states. That is must. I would like to call it:
Emotion Management : A Key to Success
Anyhow I am reproducing the letter below.
The Letter:
Your letter always remained in my mind and while walking, driving or taking food, I kept on thinking about the contents of a letter to you.
The D Day is approaching and you may also be hard pressed for the time but I wish that you must go through this letter.
First of all the main query:
I clearly remember that I have attempted 98 correct answers in history when I last cleared Prelims. There was enough time for the elective subject. I remember that after answering 98 questions at the very first reading, I had marked the answers there and then when I read them. I was left with lot of time. There was full clarity and movement I read it, I just looked for the right option.
After completing them, I again read the remaining questions, and believe me, I remembered that I did not know the answers to nearly eight of the questions. There were five such questions about which I did not have any idea. I left them and marked only 115 questions. After coming out of the examination hall, when I checked them, I was sure that my 108 questions were correct. In Punjab, one Mr. Vinod Sharma in Patiala is quite popular for coaching for civil services. I visited him and he identified that I had marked 112 correct answer. I remember that I had made marks on those question which I have tried after answering the first 98 question. Vinod Sharma remarked that 92 correct was safe and assured me that I should better start preparing for the mains as I was sure to clear the prelims if I am having 112 correct answer.
In case of general studies, I remembered that , that I have marked 105 correct answers. You do not get time during the examination of General studies to have a spot analysis of the GS paper. Remember that. If this your second attempt, then I hope you know that what I am saying. On the whole, as per Vinod Sharma, I had marked 125 correct answer. I remember that there were mere guess work on the remaining 45 questions and I did not have any clear idea about the questions. I just marked them after making qualified quess.
This much about the performance.
The Method of Marking:
I believe that I must talk about how to mark answers in the examination hall.
I had adopted a particular plan. I used to read the questions on one page and placed a mark against the correct answer without marking it on the OMR answer Sheet. The invigilator earlier used to object to it but now when you are allowed to take back the question papers, I think, if any invigilator stop you from doing it, then ignore it. Once I was highly obstructed by one invigilator for doing that. I do not know any guidelines about it but I think there is no objection by the Commission if you place some marks on the question paper.
After I read one page, I used to mark the OMR sheet. There are usually five to six questions on one page. This is a useful way of doing it.
Remember, In case of General studies, you are not able to complete the whole paper if you read the whole question paper. Just read one page. Identify the right option and then mark OMR. Do not adopt to mark one question at a time. It takes more time. Secondly, It can became a cause of wrong marking. This thing had happened with me. You want to mark an answer to question no 15 but there in stressful condition, You may mark it on 45. It happens. Be careful about such things. If you adopt marking a group of questions then such a possibility is minimised. If you have some better idea, then share it with me.
Now about the nerves:
Now this another major problem. I am sure it happens with all the candidates and the candidate who will top in 2006 must be undergoing the same mental state. That is other thing, that after getting success you may throw air around you and say anything about your confidence. You quote many phrases on success here but the fact is, the fear, the fear of loosing is the main characteristic of human life. It is there with every one.
Now let me start on different lines. You know that I am not an IAS. I tried and I failed. I succeeded to write mains but I failed. I failed after reaching the final post. Why did I fai?
I can give many justifications for that but the fact is, I am not an IAS. I may keep on repenting and finding faults for giving justifications, but it me only who suffers. It does not effect body at all. I have to just live with it.
But I must face it and learn that where it went wrong.
Now nearly ten years have passed and I am mature to face some shortcomings in me. The first shortcoming which I have identified is that I become nervous. Now that is the shortcoming. Now today, when I share this pain with you, I can not do anything about it. This pain will remain there. There was nobody around me to share my jitteriness at that time. You have shared it with me but there was no one there near me at that time. So, it is the major culprit. Do not say that I am jittery. You are stressed. Stress should be there. It helps to bring out the potential in you. The way you manage this stress and continue to work as per the plans and have faith in whatsoever you are doing, all such things will decide your success.
I still remember that when I was preparing for the mains, the floods came in Patiala where I had gone to prepare for mains. It took away nearly a week away from me. I shifted back to my native place in Jalandhar in the month of September. Something happened in my family (something personal) which pushed me into a gloomy mood. I remember that I did not study whole of October. I started somewhere again in November. I obtained 937 marks. I obtained 290 in sociology. (approx. , marklist is with me but it is somewhere in the huge mount of papers which are with me.) I failed miserably in General Studies. Only in history I had obtained 335. I also obtained less marks in essay. I failed.
Now when I look into the notes which I have prepared for sociology and history, I just feel like weeping. Those two months in which I did not study, just changed the whole course of my life. The culprit was that I did not behave in a mature manner. There are many things in life which happens and disturb you but a mature person never takes off his eye from his goal. When I look into the notes which I have made at that time, You can imagine what goes on in my mind. I had prepared notes on all such topics which have been asked in the papers. It was just that I did not revised them and secondly I went gloomy for two months before the papers. Just look at the total. It was 927. Add two months into it, it could have given me 980 and I would have been there in the list.
So no these Jittery, Stress Flip Flop talks. Just shunt them out. Have only one emotion. The paper is there. You have covered a section of the syllabus. Have faith in you. Remember and concentrate what you have prepared. In case of general studies, continue to read the topics from different Refreshers and magazines. If you are writing your notes, (and You must do that even if you are keeping magazines with you, or if you have just copied it from the magazines) continue to add to it.
Remember 100+ in History, 110+ in General studies at the maximum 90+in history and 100+ in general ** a safe going and then start for the mains even before you get the result.
I have hurriedly written it because I have to leave again for my next duty. These are examination days in Punjab and I have to work as invigilator as well as evaluator also for which I have to move from one center to other.
One thing more:
You may find it amusing but now everything is required. Take the help of astrology. Ask you parents to get you kundli checked. Learn about the position of Sun and Jupiter (suyra, guru and budha) in you horoscope and do upayas accordingly. If you sun is in good house then surya archana and Jala must be given. Give green vegetables and chara to cows (buddha). keep you head covered with a cap (buddha). If is white cap, then it will more good. Kacchi Lassi (milk in water) on Shiva linga on Monday (Chandra and Buddha). Yellow laddoos (Bunddi) before the idol of Genesha in a temple (not at home) (Buddha and Rahu). Try them if you do not have time to consult an astrologer. Ask some one at your home to get your horoscope checked and seek upayas for maintaining confidence.
You may find my advice amusing but what is harm in taking this aspect in consideration at this stage.
I may write another letter also before May 15.
sumir.
Another Peculiar Factor thing:
It may amuse many reader further. As I mentioned above, that we were rejoicing in the success of the friend, we also picked the issue that why his brother did not make it to civil services. He was more motivated. Secondly, he was more studious. He made it to medicine when this boy who has cleared civil services had failed to clear CET. His brother has cleared MLE and PLAB. He is becoming quite popular as a doctor.
The reasoning which emerged, may amuse many people but in my circle we believe in it.
The reason is "Nazar" or "BAD EYE". Yes, the similar one, which you usually find written at the back of each and every truck or public carrier vehicles. We reasoned that the doctor had told each and every person about his civil services preparation. He was clearing his medicine papers and he was also trying for civil service. Every one tried to learn how he was managing his preparation. Whereas, this boy has not revealed it to his nearest relatives about his preparation till his name appeared in the list of the successful candidates.
In short, Nazar and Hok ‘ka, Try to save yourself from these two curses. Do not let many people know that you are preparing it.
You may find it amusing. Well, I believe in it. I claim that I am a grown up man, mature and experienced person. I talk about logic and reason. Well, there are some facts, which defy reasoning. It is not a matter of choice. It is basically a limit of our reasoning faculties decided by nature herself. There are many things which defy explanation. The solution is not to reject them or escape from them or overlook them. Just do not let them go out of consideration. You may not give much importance to them but you should also not ignore them at all.
